Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
  • Start date Start date
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Yesterday was not a good day. I decided to go for a ride, as the weather was nice. It's been a while and it started out pretty slow, which was fine. But then I went faster and faster and before I knew it, I was really flying. The speed and curves were a bit too much for me and I flew off. Unfortunately, I caught my pant leg on the footpeg so I was stuck as the bike kept going. There I was on the ground, writhing in pain. It was absolutely terrifying.

Thankfully the store manager heard my screams and came out and unplugged the machine!
 
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller whose name is Patricia Whack. Noting her name badge, the frog says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office with the porcelain elephant.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this anyway?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone!”
 
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