Post your jokes and humor here.

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robs ss said:
@baz put german for horn in another thread that brought back a memory. When I was about 15-16 my parents gave me a humorous "german" calendar with sailing terms as I was into sailing big-time. Ones that I remember were:

Bangenwerks - Boom
Puschenpullerschtick - Tiller and the best...
Der dumbkopf mit der puschenpullerschtick mit all der schreamin und shouten - Skipper

Cheers
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It's very noticable with charter sailing on biggish wooden boats - if it's Dutch, they moor without a word, one bloke up front giving have signals to the bloke at the back.

If it's German, there's at least one bloke shouting very loudly and waving his arms about while everyone else tries to work out what to do.

If it's English, someone's saying "Would you take this line please? Thanks" in advance conversational tone.
 
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, “Do you know me?”

The woman eyes him up and down and replies, “I think you're the Father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife.

He says, “Are you the stripper from my buck’s party that I made love to on the pool table with all my mates watching while your partner whipped my arse with a wet celery stick?”

She looks calmly into his eyes and says, “No, I'm your son's teacher.”
 
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Fast Eddie said:
How true is this ??

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Luddite!!!
Actually I grew up in Africa, where non-air conditioned cars were the norm. Not any more, even the humble base line Toyota has it these days.
My 2005 Alfa has abasic AC setup, but the more expensive models had individual adjustments for left and right sides. Never really seen the need for that though.

Mind you, I have been known to proclaim that the last time there was a worthwhile upgrade of Microscope Word was back in 1998 :cool:
 
robs ss said:
Today's offering...
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Which brings to mind a mission from another world that was sent to earth to explore what earthlings were all about in the 1950’s . The saucer landed around midnight at a gas station which was closed . The aliens approached the gas pumps and repeatedly asked the pumps “ Take us to your leaders” . After receiving no response they got back aboard their spacecraft and flew home . Upon being asked about the earthlings at debriefing they reported that earthlings didn’t have much to say - they mostly just stand around with their cocks in their ears .
 
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Richard Tool said:
Which brings to mind a mission from another world that was sent to earth to explore what earthlings were all about in the 1950’s . The saucer landed around midnight at a gas station which was closed . The aliens approached the gas pumps and repeatedly asked the pumps “ Take us to your leaders” . After receiving no response they got back aboard their spacecraft and flew home . Upon being asked about the earthlings at debriefing they reported that earthlings didn’t have much to say - they mostly just stand around with their cocks in their ears .
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Did they have dogs?
 
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