Post your jokes and humor here.

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baz said:
It's means "your nicked son" or "book him Danno" etc 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lost in translation
My other half said "don't post that joke only English people will get it" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Click to expand...
I learned some of the dialects, growing up next town to Seabrook.




"

Seabrook: Talk the Talk​

What’s with that accent?
Is it something particular to New England? More than likely, old England.

As late as the Great Depression, people in Seabrook still spoke much the same way their forebears did hundreds of years earlier. The 1938 “WPA Guide to New Hampshire,” by the Federal Writers’ Project, describes it this way: “A section of the town of Seabrook speaks a language strangely reminiscent of rural England, and at times suggestive of the Yorkshire dialect.”

Step into Brown’s Lobster Pound and you’ll find a perfect example right behind the counter if Bruce Brown is holding court.

“I guess I do have it,” says Brown, owner of the iconic seacoast destination. “I’ve been told it’s the closest thing to hearing the King’s English. When I was in high school, I had a teacher who was a wizard — his name was Roland Woodwell. He was big on Shakespeare, and he used to have me read Shakespeare so that they could hear it with the accent.”

Many of the old families who settled in Seabrook made their way from Wales, which may explain the unique cadence, rhythms and intonation.

“Just being anywhere in New Hampshire, Maine or Vermont — small towns are full of people who didn’t leave. They stayed close together and they have a different dialect,” says Eric Small, president of the Historical Society of Seabrook and a lifelong resident. “It’s very common. Maybe it’s a little unusual here in that it’s particular to Seabrook.”

As a proud lifer, Small also has a preferred name for those who live in town — and he bristles at those who would put on airs when referring to locals by shortened terms like “Brooker” or “bub.”"


www.nhmagazine.com

Getting to know the people of Seabrook, NH

Seabrook, NH is a place where they’ll stove you up and take you in. Learn about Brown's Lobster Pound, Smoky Quartz Distillery, The Old Man of Seabrook and more
www.nhmagazine.com www.nhmagazine.com
 
A policeman making his evening rounds goes to check on the activities at the local lovers lane parking spot . Amongst the darkened seemingly unoccupied cars ( yet many were rocking back and forth ) was one car with it’s dome light on . In the front seat was a young man reading a newspaper draped over the steering wheel . In the back seat was a young woman knitting . The cop walks over to the car and raps on the window . The young man rolls down his window and says “ yes sir - is there a problem ? “
Cop says “ what are you up to ? “
Young man replies “ I’m just reading the paper sir . “
Cop says “ and the young lady - what is she up to ? “
Young man says - “ She is knitting - I think it’s going to be a scarf “
Cop then asks “ How old are you son ? “
” I’m 21 sir .”
” and the young lady - how old is she ? “ the cop asked.
The young man glances at his watch and says
“ In ten minutes she’ll be eighteen.. “
 
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Post your jokes and humor here.
 
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.''What's your name?''

The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?''

''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.''

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay, what's your name?''

The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.''

''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?''

''Yeah, he's my dad.''

''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?''

The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?''

The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.''

''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.''

The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.''

The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
 
baz said:
It's means "your nicked son" or "book him Danno" etc 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lost in translation
My other half said "don't post that joke only English people will get it" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Click to expand...
and the complete address , Letsby Avenue, Andover , Hants, which in cockney sounds as “andover ants”, or hand over hands.... I rest my case, m’lud!
... and I have just realised, that Andover is very relevant to Norton folks...!
 
You've probably heard the carpenter's rule: Measure Twice, Cut Once.

Apparently, I have a new rule: When building a crate to send overseas, do these steps:

1) Buy exactly the right amount of lumber.
2) Wait until you're so tired you shouldn't be doing any work.
3) Measure 3-4 times and cut a little too short.
4) Give up on measuring and mark a piece to match what you need - cut.
5) Verify that it's right, cut three more.
6) Try to use them and realize that they are all 1-1/2" too short - thought about it wrong!
7) Go buy more lumber and get extra this time!

You might think it's a easy enough mistake. However, one of my past businesses was home improvements where I did woodworking daily, I built all the cabinets in my house, I gutted and rebuilt the downstairs in my house, I built garages, I built at least 50 decks, and much more.

This is a small crate - shipped a big one several days ago - not everything was perfect, but no wood was wasted.

If I wasn't so annoyed with myself, I would find it comical so I figured you might too.
 
marshg246 said:
You've probably heard the carpenter's rule: Measure Twice, Cut Once.

Apparently, I have a new rule: When building a crate to send overseas, do these steps:

1) Buy exactly the right amount of lumber.
2) Wait until you're so tired you shouldn't be doing any work.
3) Measure 3-4 times and cut a little too short.
4) Give up on measuring and mark a piece to match what you need - cut.
5) Verify that it's right, cut three more.
6) Try to use them and realize that they are all 1-1/2" too short - thought about it wrong!
7) Go buy more lumber and get extra this time!

You might think it's a easy enough mistake. However, one of my past businesses was home improvements where I did woodworking daily, I built all the cabinets in my house, I gutted and rebuilt the downstairs in my house, I built garages, I built at least 50 decks, and much more.

This is a small crate - shipped a big one several days ago - not everything was perfect, but no wood was wasted.

If I wasn't so annoyed with myself, I would find it comical so I figured you might too.
Click to expand...
Yep - been there myself and I‘ve been a carpenter for 60 of my 70 years.
On the same train of thought - as a self taught machinist wannabe I quickly discovered that if a workpiece requires 10 operations you will screw it up on the 9th or 10th . I need to learn to screw it up on the 1st and save some effort.
 
marshg246 said:
You've probably heard the carpenter's rule: Measure Twice, Cut Once.

Apparently, I have a new rule: When building a crate to send overseas, do these steps:

1) Buy exactly the right amount of lumber.
2) Wait until you're so tired you shouldn't be doing any work.
3) Measure 3-4 times and cut a little too short.
4) Give up on measuring and mark a piece to match what you need - cut.
5) Verify that it's right, cut three more.
6) Try to use them and realize that they are all 1-1/2" too short - thought about it wrong!
7) Go buy more lumber and get extra this time!

You might think it's a easy enough mistake. However, one of my past businesses was home improvements where I did woodworking daily, I built all the cabinets in my house, I gutted and rebuilt the downstairs in my house, I built garages, I built at least 50 decks, and much more.

This is a small crate - shipped a big one several days ago - not everything was perfect, but no wood was wasted.

If I wasn't so annoyed with myself, I would find it comical so I figured you might too.
Click to expand...
Sounds to me like you should stick with the motorcycles. If you get back focused on the woodworking, your wrenching skills may take a hit.
 
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