Post your jokes and humor here.

ashman said:

No I just know, I am coming on 65, have a beer belly, fair skin and rough as nuts, I dress in true blue aussie male drab, drink and have bad manners, I pick my nose when need too and scratch my bottom, so I do know my place and in my younger days my mates would chase all the glamor girls, me I pick the ugliest girl of the group and know I be in for a chance, my mates would end up spending a lot of money and get into fights over the pretty girls and still come home with nothing, me I would always come home with a smile on my dial and well satisfied I got a bit, ahhh those were the days, now I just dream about it.
But one thing I do have when it comes to women, I am very polite and have good manners with them, can be a real gentleman, so I suppose I got one good thing going for me.

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cjandme said:

They call us ”The Elderly”
We were born in the 40-50-60’s.
Some of you may have already seen this but I thought is was worth putting up here.
We grew up in the 50-60-70's.
We studied in the 60-70-80's.
We were dating in the 70-80-90's.
We got married and discovered the world in the 70-80-90's.
We venture into the 80-90’s.
We stabilize in the 2000’s.
We got wiser in the 2010’s.
And we are going firmly through and beyond 2020.
Turns out we've lived through EIGHT different decades...
TWO different centuries...
TWO different millennia...
We have gone from the telephone with an operator for long-distance calls to video calls to anywhere in the world.
We have gone from slides to YouTube, from vinyl records to online music, from handwritten letters to email and Whats App.
From live matches on the radio, to black and white TV, colour TV and then to 3D HD TV.
We went to the Video store and now we watch Netflix.
We got to know the first computers, punch cards, floppy disks and now we have gigabytes and megabytes on our smartphones.
We wore shorts throughout our childhood and then long trousers, Oxfords, flares, shell suits & blue jeans.
We dodged infantile paralysis, meningitis, polio, tuberculosis, swine flu and now COVID-19.
We rode skates, tricycles, bicycles, mopeds, petrol or diesel cars and now we drive hybrids or electric.
Yes, we've been through a lot but what a great life we've had!
They could describe us as “exennials”; people who were born in that world of the fifties, who had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood.
We've kind of “Seen-It-All”!
Our generation has literally lived through and witnessed more than any other in every dimension of life.
It is our generation that has literally adapted to “CHANGE”.
A big round of applause to all the members of a very special generation, which will be UNIQUE.
-Author unknown
Keep on keeping on!

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Grandad said:

Reminds me of the woman who went to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a bin bag ( trash bag ), when asked what she went as she replied “ Russell “

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SteveBorland said:

To continue my series of bad jokes:

A cowboy rides into the high street of a Western town and finds it deserted. He hitches his horse to the rail outside the saloon and goes in.

The barman is polishing glasses behind the bar.

“Hi” says the cowboy “mighty quiet in town”

“Yup” says the barman “Everybody’s at the hanging”

“The hanging?” says the cowboy “Who they hanging?”

“They’re hanging Brown Paper Pete”

Said the barman

“Oh, why do you call him that?”

“Well”

Said the barman,

“His shirt is made of brown paper, this chaps are made of brown paper, and his favourite hat is made of brown paper”

“I see!”

Said the cowboy

“What are they hanging him for?” …

“Rustling”

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mean gene said:

Greg hope your ok. This sounds a little dumb but my rehab center teaches "older " individuals and makes them practice getting up from the floor! Good luck!

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marshg246 said:

I'm OK, new shoulder pain and I bruised the area over my new right hip - that worried me for a few minutes. Kicked something on my way down and tore up my big toe - it's OK, nail almost off. I finally figured out to roll on my belly, do a pushup, bring one leg up and get up. Couldn't use my left leg - toe hurt too much. Right was not working well but it did work and that was temporary from my hip. Biggest issue is the missing 2" x 3" of skin on the back of my leg just above the ankle.

Generally, any woman there would have been laughing and scolding me while watching me and any man would have offered to help, but he would have to be damned big and strong to be of any help. It's really comical even to me. Now, if I had hit my head or broken something that could have been bad. I go many days without seeing anyone!

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