Post your jokes and humor here.

Flatspot said:
It’s not a fellow, apparently he wants to be known as them. I was always led to believe on 2 genders, he and she, or to put it another way innies and outies. you can’t change chromosomes no matter what they want to do these days.

Another thing, them implies a plural, otherwise it should be called it.

Maybe I need to apologise for being a male heterosexual, it seems to be a taboo subject these days.
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Does them have a name?
 
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
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Jaydee
 
Stephen_Spencer said:
View attachment 104559
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Funnily enough a friend of mine spent a fortune getting a Ducati dealer to trace a jingling noise on his 998. they stripped the engine carried out updates and could find nothing wrong. He took it away and still heard the noise. Then one day he wore a different jacket and the noise was gone. It turned out it was a stud on the other jacket rattling on the tank !!
 
Years ago one of the mechanics where I was working told me a similar tale. A customer with a new Ford was complaining about a rattle in the rear. No one could find it till the car got hit in the left rear fender. The body shop guys found a coke bottle between the inner and outer fender with a note that said compliments of the strike of 1950.
 
MikeG said:
Years ago one of the mechanics where I was working told me a similar tale. A customer with a new Ford was complaining about a rattle in the rear. No one could find it till the car got hit in the left rear fender. The body shop guys found a coke bottle between the inner and outer fender with a note that said compliments of the strike of 1950.
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I think their slogan at the time was "Things go better with Coke". Perhaps that included 1950 Fords...
 
^^^^ so last century 😶

These days Bond needs to have already transitioned to female … then turned queer / bisexual and then finally turned to being non binary to even have a chance of a new film being produced
 
cliffa said:
Funnily enough a friend of mine spent a fortune getting a Ducati dealer to trace a jingling noise on his 998. they stripped the engine carried out updates and could find nothing wrong. He took it away and still heard the noise. Then one day he wore a different jacket and the noise was gone. It turned out it was a stud on the other jacket rattling on the tank !!
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My car about drove me crazy for about a year. Often when I would get in, the trunk would open - sometimes I would go through it 3-4 times before I could drive away. The dealer couldn't find anything and neither could I. I was convinced that there was short in the seat wiring.

Then one day the light came - the key says in your pocket and the car senses is. If the back side were towards my leg, then the trunk button could get bumped on the door pillar through my pants - problem (embarrassingly) solved!
 
marshg246 said:
My car about drove me crazy for about a year. Often when I would get in, the trunk would open - sometimes I would go through it 3-4 times before I could drive away. The dealer couldn't find anything and neither could I. I was convinced that there was short in the seat wiring.

Then one day the light came - the key says in your pocket and the car senses is. If the back side were towards my leg, then the trunk button could get bumped on the door pillar through my pants - problem (embarrassingly) solved!
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That's why all my vehicles are analog
 
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