Post your jokes and humor here.

A word of warning...
I'm in the emergency department at our local hospital.
I won't bore you with the details but Dyson Ball Cleaner is a dangerously misleading product description.
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
marshg246 said:
Are you trying to start WW3 or the equivalent here?
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Not really Aussies and Kiwis get on pretty good I have worked and have quite a few Kiwi mates (and they all hate being called mate hey bro lol) we put sh#t on each other in a good way of course and we always have a good laugh together, but in reality they all want to live here in Aussie land and we do have a lot of Kiwi's who have made Australia their home and now it's easier to become a Aussie citizen and really looking at that map NZ isn't that big and look at the shape it did break away from Aus east coast many millions of years ago.
But their favourite word and most used word is "Bro" and you can always pick a Kiwi driver as they always have a fern sticker on the back window, makes them a easy target lol.
About 10 years ago I bought a lathe and milling machine off a Kiwi never knew him but I had to get the wife to come and pick me up many hours later I was so pissed and to this day we are still good mates and man do we put sh#t on each other, why we are still good mates/bro.

Ashley
 
ashman said:
Not really Aussies and Kiwis get on pretty good I have worked and have quite a few Kiwi mates (and they all hate being called mate hey bro lol) we put sh#t on each other in a good way of course and we always have a good laugh together, but in reality they all want to live here in Aussie land and we do have a lot of Kiwi's who have made Australia their home and now it's easier to become a Aussie citizen and really looking at that map NZ isn't that big and look at the shape it did break away from Aus east coast many millions of years ago.
But their favourite word and most used word is "Bro" and you can always pick a Kiwi driver as they always have a fern sticker on the back window, makes them a easy target lol.
About 10 years ago I bought a lathe and milling machine off a Kiwi never knew him but I had to get the wife to come and pick me up many hours later I was so pissed and to this day we are still good mates and man do we put sh#t on each other, why we are still good mates/bro.

Ashley
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I get a kick out of some of the Sky New AU commentators. I watched a recent discussion that was talking about some sort of new or proposed law and talk of the Kiwis trying to take over AU (or so it seemed) and being deported. Of course, I haven't a clue - may have misunderstood the whole thing. Hard enough to keep track of the US and Sky talks (on YouTube) more about the US than the AU or NZ.

That map was comical - looked like a NZ take over of it's big brother :)

So, no war, just a good verbal bitch slapping from time to time?
 
marshg246 said:
So, no war, just a good verbal bitch slapping from time to time?
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Tomorrow our brothers from Australia come together and commemorate our fallen soldiers.... Anzac Day, 25 April, is New Zealand's most important day of national commemoration. It marks the anniversary of the first major action by New Zealand and Australian forces during the First World War, landing on the Gallipoli peninsula in Turkey. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.
 

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No the previous Liberial Goverment in Aus made a law where convicted NZ criminals living in Aus were being sent back home to NZ no matter how long they have lived here and the NZ government took offence to this, as for taking over Aus well there probably more Kiwi's living here than in NZ lol, NZ population of 3 million and 50 million sheep.
Kiwishane we produce our own sheep/lamb use to be our cheapest meat in the old days but not no longer, lamb is now our most expensive meat and most butcher shop charging $25 kg for lamb chops W T F so not much lamb on the shopping list these days, well not in my house anyway.
One of the reasons we might be importing Lamb from NZ is ours are getting exported overseas on live sheep export ships, live sheep and cattle exported OS is big money to our producers and the worst thing about that we pay high prices for our own meat, we are just getting ripped off.
 
ashman said:
No the previous Liberial Goverment in Aus made a law where convicted NZ criminals living in Aus were being sent back home to NZ no matter how long they have lived here and the NZ government took offence to this, as for taking over Aus well there probably more Kiwi's living here than in NZ lol, NZ population of 3 million and 50 million sheep.
Kiwishane we produce our own sheep/lamb use to be our cheapest meat in the old days but not no longer, lamb is now our most expensive meat and most butcher shop charging $25 kg for lamb chops W T F so not much lamb on the shopping list these days, well not in my house anyway.
One of the reasons we might be importing Lamb from NZ is ours are getting exported overseas on live sheep export ships, live sheep and cattle exported OS is big money to our producers and the worst thing about that we pay high prices for our own meat, we are just getting ripped off.
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Same deal here with meat prices..f ing rip off !!
As you know NZ has some of the best conditions to raise lamb and it is why we are the worlds biggest exporter of mutton.
Yes live export is a good earn...it may not be that humane for our fluffy friends but im sure Australia is slowly phasing out live export sheep/lamb to be slaughtered once it gets to the middle east..(possible ritual)......Ya can't beat a Kiwi Roast leg of Lamb Bro...dripping in mint sauce...fuck I need to wipe the drool off my chops 🤣🤣
 
KiwiShane said:
Same deal here with meat prices..f ing rip off !!
As you know NZ has some of the best conditions to raise lamb and it is why we are the worlds biggest exporter of mutton.
Yes live export is a good earn...it may not be that humane for our fluffy friends but im sure Australia is slowly phasing out live export sheep/lamb to be slaughtered once it gets to the middle east..(possible ritual)......Ya can't beat a Kiwi Roast leg of Lamb Bro...dripping in mint sauce...fuck I need to wipe the drool off my chops 🤣🤣
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Kiwi lamb is cheaper to buy in the uk , than we pay for it here ! . Just eat pork, lots cheaper .
 
What about this one I came across:
Once I went to a party with my husband, full of people he knew (from work) but I didn't. A guy came up to us, turned to me and said "You must be his wife". I turned to my husband and said "You have a WIFE?" Should've seen the guy's face!
 
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