Post your jokes and humor here.

trouble is it’s love him or hate him it’s the only motorbike show on our TV and he owns and rides a Norton
 
It’s a bit of a bitsa es2 engine drum brake commando front end calls it Mavis
 
phippsy said:
It’s a bit of a bitsa es2 engine drum brake commando front end calls it Mavis
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Not seen that one
I was at kickback a few years ago and he was there with one of his triumph chops
A quick glance at the front wheel setup on that bike told me enough about the bloke!
 
Go on then baza… I’ll bite… wosup with it…?

Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Father O' Malley answers the phone.
'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is'
'This is the Inland Revenue Service, income tax department. Can you help us?'
'I can.'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
‘He is'
'Did he donate €10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
 
I would not get on that pile, no matter how beefy that ramp is. And that nut protector isn't.
 
Copied from another web site, where the discussion was why do so many people say “F@@k that hurt” when for example you hit your thumb instead of the nail:


Well, when accidentally hitting my thumb with a hammer, I try not to use christian blasphemy.

Instead, I think of my ancestors, in times long gone.

Under duress, they would summon the four Elf Kings to their defence. The Elf King from North would bring down a bitter cold and freeze our enemies to death. The Elf King from the East could turn their lands into arid deserts. We only needed to wait until they perished. The Elf King from the south brought a vicious hot wind - our enemies died quickly for lack of water. The Elf King from the West controlled a huge Ocean. At his command, the waters would surge into a tidal wave and overwhelm our adversaries.

Yes, I know that this is only legend and cannot possibly be true. But - and I guess it is just instinctive in my culture - I just automatically summon these Elf Kings if I hit my thumb.

“Four King Elves” is typical of what I say.

Sorry, I’ll get my coat………….
 
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