A
Anonymous
Guest
Of the typical things that newbies will face as Norton owners this Spring?
Think of it as community service without the ankle bracelet.
Wet sumping is an oxymoron. Has anyone ever had "dry sumping"?
This will confound and puzzle you and trick you into topping things up to the point where sage club members will buy shares in oil companies.
Boyer wires will always seperate at the crimp connectors.
This will always happen in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, in the pouring rain on your way home from a club meeting. Somebody will always stop and start with Lucas jokes when Boyer ones would be more appropriate and they will be riding a Harley or a Jap bike.
Never let a bike mechanic younger than 40 years of age even touch your Commando. They will have no clue as to postive earth electrics and can't set up a TLS front brake to save their souls. Or yours. If you do, be sure to hire a lawyer for the "Diaphragm Clutch Spring" defense when you go to trial.
A loose rectifier touching the frame or fender will give that dreaded "Red Light On" syndrome. You will find it only after having tested, re-soldered, and gotten divorced.
You will never have enough loctite. Though you might make the mistake of thinking "they are all the same" and having to hire a gorilla to remove fittings later. "Does not release with hand tools" takes on a whole new meaning at the side of the road, in the dark, when it is raining, yeah, you know the rest of that song...
You will regret having laughed at the guy who had cut two rubber bands from old inner tubes and slipped them over his speedo and tach. Especially when something is hanging off... in the dark, when it is raining, etc....
You will understand why ear plugs are used by riders with open pea shooters after riding for 200 miles. What, speak up, I can't hear you!
You will learn that rebuilding the Norton forks is dead nuts simple, but not until you remember to "ream" the bushes a little.
You will learn that putting oil into the swingarm is damn near impossible even if you have fingers that are two feet long.
You will learn to not buy cheapo gas taps, especially when the neoprene inner begins to slip and leads to all manner of problems from starting to cutting out to poor performance. Avoid ones that say "Proudly made by child labor in Calcutta".
The nice shiny alloy seat holders that spin on so well, will strip with regularity as you snug them down.
Small cracks in anything but the gas tank are nothing to really worry about. Until they become big cracks.
You will learn that the old adage that "timing is everything" comes into play when kicking over a Combat while keeping your leg locked. You will limp more than James Caan on a cold, rainy night (bet you thought I couldn't get that phrase in again).
Though your primary chaincase appears oil tight, some anal retentive idiot club member (who mostly owns Triumphs) will run a finger under it and cluck a tsk, tsk and wave a finger wet with tranny oil at you during a club meeting in front of everyone. You will also learn to leave a charged capicator lying around for him to absently pick up and examine as payback.
You will learn how important it is to shim an alternator for proper air gap and yes, cue the "dark and rainy night" phrase again!
But most of all, you will find that a properly set up Norton Commando will be one of the most memorable bike you will ever own and your better half will give you warm embraces and get all moist when you lean into the first corner and experience Norton handling. She will also pay homage to your new found mechanical talent by asking you to fix everything from her hair dryer (positive ground heh,heh,heh) to the toaster oven.
Now, how is that for starters?
Think of it as community service without the ankle bracelet.
Wet sumping is an oxymoron. Has anyone ever had "dry sumping"?
This will confound and puzzle you and trick you into topping things up to the point where sage club members will buy shares in oil companies.
Boyer wires will always seperate at the crimp connectors.
This will always happen in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, in the pouring rain on your way home from a club meeting. Somebody will always stop and start with Lucas jokes when Boyer ones would be more appropriate and they will be riding a Harley or a Jap bike.
Never let a bike mechanic younger than 40 years of age even touch your Commando. They will have no clue as to postive earth electrics and can't set up a TLS front brake to save their souls. Or yours. If you do, be sure to hire a lawyer for the "Diaphragm Clutch Spring" defense when you go to trial.
A loose rectifier touching the frame or fender will give that dreaded "Red Light On" syndrome. You will find it only after having tested, re-soldered, and gotten divorced.
You will never have enough loctite. Though you might make the mistake of thinking "they are all the same" and having to hire a gorilla to remove fittings later. "Does not release with hand tools" takes on a whole new meaning at the side of the road, in the dark, when it is raining, yeah, you know the rest of that song...
You will regret having laughed at the guy who had cut two rubber bands from old inner tubes and slipped them over his speedo and tach. Especially when something is hanging off... in the dark, when it is raining, etc....
You will understand why ear plugs are used by riders with open pea shooters after riding for 200 miles. What, speak up, I can't hear you!
You will learn that rebuilding the Norton forks is dead nuts simple, but not until you remember to "ream" the bushes a little.
You will learn that putting oil into the swingarm is damn near impossible even if you have fingers that are two feet long.
You will learn to not buy cheapo gas taps, especially when the neoprene inner begins to slip and leads to all manner of problems from starting to cutting out to poor performance. Avoid ones that say "Proudly made by child labor in Calcutta".
The nice shiny alloy seat holders that spin on so well, will strip with regularity as you snug them down.
Small cracks in anything but the gas tank are nothing to really worry about. Until they become big cracks.
You will learn that the old adage that "timing is everything" comes into play when kicking over a Combat while keeping your leg locked. You will limp more than James Caan on a cold, rainy night (bet you thought I couldn't get that phrase in again).
Though your primary chaincase appears oil tight, some anal retentive idiot club member (who mostly owns Triumphs) will run a finger under it and cluck a tsk, tsk and wave a finger wet with tranny oil at you during a club meeting in front of everyone. You will also learn to leave a charged capicator lying around for him to absently pick up and examine as payback.
You will learn how important it is to shim an alternator for proper air gap and yes, cue the "dark and rainy night" phrase again!
But most of all, you will find that a properly set up Norton Commando will be one of the most memorable bike you will ever own and your better half will give you warm embraces and get all moist when you lean into the first corner and experience Norton handling. She will also pay homage to your new found mechanical talent by asking you to fix everything from her hair dryer (positive ground heh,heh,heh) to the toaster oven.
Now, how is that for starters?