Post your jokes and humor here.

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That's funny right there. I happen to like and respect BMW's, however that has not always been the case.
Story time... 25+ years at a Ski Club meeting there was this new cute gal I thought had possibilties.
We chatted it up awhile and wound up walking out together to the parking lot at the end of the meeting.
Me being the shallow, self centered individual was curious what she drove. We went seperate directions and I couldn't see.
I was way in the back so I semi Sprinted to the car, fired it up and hightailed to the exit.
I pulled up next to a car and sure enough it was her, my heart sank as I said, oh no, she drives a Beemer...
Even funnier, she was on her cell phone with a girl friend and says, oh no, he drives a Corvette. And says, 'that's either really good or really bad.'
Two years later we married and have been ever since.

Post Script Edit... She now drives a Mid Size SUV, I drive a Pick up. My how times have changed...😁😁
 
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MichaelB said:
That's funny right there. I happen to like and respect BMW's, however that has not always been the case.
Story time... 25+ years at a Ski Club meeting there was this new cute gal I thought had possibilties.
We chatted it up awhile and wound up walking out together to the parking lot at the end of the meeting.
Me being the shallow, self centered individual was curious what she drove. We went seperate directions and I couldn't see.
I was way in the back so I semi Sprinted to the car, fired it up and hightailed to the exit.
I pulled up next to a car and sure enough it was her, my heart sank as I said, oh no, she drives a Beemer...
Even funnier, she was on her cell phone with a girl friend and says, oh no, he drives a Corvette. And says, 'that's either really good or really bad.'
Two years later we married and have been ever since.

Post Script Edit... She now drives a Mid Size SUV, I drive a Pick up. My how times have changed...😁😁
Click to expand...
There's a bloke down our street that drives a Volvo
We don't say anything
He's mostly treated like a regular bloke
 
A mate of mine was challenged by his wife "Craig, are you listening to me?"

"Sure I am darl, but it's kind of like listening to waves crash on the beach. If you asked me exactly what the last one sounded like, I couldn't really tell you!"

He's still alive.
 
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . ....................... even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life.
 
cjandme said:
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10 This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . ....................... even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life.
Click to expand...
That’s very funny! Haven’t heard it before.
 
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