Thoughts on being a dad

Been taking care of my 6 year old boy pretty much solo for 6 months now while the wife's in the USA dealing with health issues. Anyway, it's tough, but I've also found that being a 'single' parent can bring out the best in you, I think I'm a lot more attentive to him than I was before, not just because I have to be, I think you tend to look at your kids in a different way when it's just you and them for months on end.

2 cents

Parenthood is definitely challenging, we have 6 , 4 girls and 2 boys---our youngest daughter just turned 12 yesterday and she isn't the "little" girl that she used to be. On the other end of the spectrum, our oldest daughter (also our oldest kid) is 18 and just got her official university entrance exam results back and will be going off to college in a few months. Our youngest is our 10 year old son - he still looks up to me, but is starting to challenge me on little things,,,,and so it begins again. ))

My 6 yo girl just held her own with her mom in a left handed arm wrestle. It was a good hoot all around.

I think I'm blowing it with these last two. I'm sure Covid and home schooling has a lot to do with it, but I sure don't have the patience I used to have.

Too much weird stuff around here, nothing at all like it was back in Laredo; kinda like we were country folks in a little old town, now we're trying to live in the big modern city.

I'm glad I have my ranch & shop where I can get away during the daytime...

acadian said:

Been taking care of my 6 year old boy pretty much solo for 6 months now while the wife's in the USA dealing with health issues. Anyway, it's tough, but I've also found that being a 'single' parent can bring out the best in you, I think I'm a lot more attentive to him than I was before, not just because I have to be, I think you tend to look at your kids in a different way when it's just you and them for months on end.

2 cents

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Hope your wife gets well and comes home soon. Little ones need mom.

I understand about your 1 on 1 observation. My son was in a horrific automobile accident when he was 12. I pretty much quit working for a year to help get him back in the game. Many days of just he and I.

My wife and I have been taking the 3 and 5 year old grandkids 3 to 5 days a week since the ChiVI closed down the daycare center.
I had forgotten how much fun and how much work those little munchkins and curtain climbers can be. The intimate times are a big deal IMHO. I am teaching my 5 year old grand daughter chess and her little brother arithmetic.
Like Grandpaul noted I too am very glad I have a shop and a farm where I can seek solace, especially since hunting season has arrived.

My kids are grown adults and I don't know them. Being a single parent cannot be as bad as when your wife has attitude and uses your kids against you. These days I have the sheer joy of living with three young step grand-daughters. I love them dearly and they keep me alive. In Australia our kids are taught to print rather than write in a longhand script. I have bought the girls a fountain pen each, and I am teaching them to write like adults did in the old days. The youngest child is four years of age. On the days when she does not attend play-group, I often take her to a plant nursery where there is a small cafe, and I buy her a milk-shake and a bite to eat. She likes me to buy her a flowering plant. We take it home and plant it in the garden. During my first marriage, I never experienced anything like that.

Love your kids - they grow up too soon.
My one regret is I don't have a road bike. The girls love motorcycles. I'd like to take each of them up through Mansfield and over Mount Tolmie, on the back of a bike.

Being called Dad and watching my little girl grow into adulthood has been the greatest joy of my life.
Enjoy every moment you can while they are young and growing, you will both be rewarded.

When our two were in diapers I thought it would never end .... then in a blink they were off to university and starting their own adult lives .... time sure do slip away ,in this case much too fast ....

Doing the calligraphy thing with your kids might be important. If they only learn cursive script at school, the probably cannot even sign their names. With my own kids, when I was not attending evening classes, I always played all the games with them. They all know howto play 500 and Gin Rummy. But I am still the Monopoly champion.
My oldest son is a chef, the second one is an engineer in the construction industry and my daughter is a lawyer. With the engineer, you name your game and he will beat you at it. But with him, everything is a competition and it gets tiresome.
For me, my three live-in step-grandkids are all projects. I do what I can to help them become expert at what they do. I am starting to look for music teachers for them.

Craig said:

When our two were in diapers I thought it would never end .... then in a blink they were off to university and starting their own adult lives .... time sure do slip away ,in this case much too fast ....

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I don't know where my life went. But what I did was probably worth it.

Bikes have been a part of my entire family's lives since my oldest son rode in between me and my ex across town to a festival. My wyfe actually taught BOTH my older sons to ride, as well as one of our nephews. Apart from one graddaughter that doesn't "love" to ride, all the rest do. I think bikes come in 2nd to going to the beach, camping, swimming and fishing (all together in one big shebang).

It always has to do with "real life" taking whatever slice of your life is required to pay the bills, but it has just worked out that Each successive kid we've had, has gotten a bigger slice of my time/life. Being self-employed has helped that. We do so much more together, than I ever got to do with my Mom and Dad. Of course, we've only had 2 at time at home, my folks had TEN!

About the first time I ever road-raced, was at Calder Raceway in Melbourne. My two sons aged about 8 and 10 were standing at the end of the front straight watching. When I reached the end of the straight, I could not stop the bike. I was holding the front brake on, when it suddenly heated up and grabbed. It launched me over the front at about 90 MPH, and I slid on my back across the corner and into the escape road. My two sons thought I was dead. The good thing was, I never had to watch either of my sons road-racing motorcycles. I would hate to be doing that.

When My wife and I began our family, I said to her "Sweetheart I think I'll sell all my motorcycles", since I wanted them to avoid getting the bike bug, like I had growing up---my Dad used to ride ( he and my mom both toured together) and Dad also raced speedway so I got to hear all about that as well. Plus growing up watching Evel Knievel didn't help. ( Pops took my brother and I to the Astrodome in Houston to see his event. First was the destruction derby and then him doing his now infamous jump where by he wiped out and slid into the wall breaking a gazillion bones in the process). So, I sold everything except an old Norton 750 Atlas engine and some associated parts I that I'd run across in a junk yard and bought for 10 bucks back in the mid eighties. Years later, when all my kids ever wanted to do, was play video games, I said I think I'll get a bike because the kids could care less, and so I got the 75' MkIII that I have now. I remember once I had to get after my oldest son who was about 9 at the time, his punishment was to hand over his Nintendo DS game console and go outside and ride his bike for an hour, he cried and carried on so much that you'd have thought I'd given him a whippin' or somethin'. Cj

My two daughters went through a phase of loving going out on one of my bikes, not far or fast, but still exciting enough for them.

That soon burnt itself out though, now they have zero interest. they’re not ‘anti bike’ as that in itself would require a level of interest, they just have not interest whatsoever!

My experience as a dad has changed drastically over the past few years. I have 3 children, but only 1 lives with me. My ex, in her infinite narcissistic wisdom, decided that she should move to England to live with her new girlfriend, and take my oldest daughter and my son with her. My middle daughter did not agree with what her mom did to me and our family, and was rejected by her mother, so she lives with me now in our old home in Canada. As she suffers from undiagnosed NPD, I had to go along with her plan, or suffer scorched earth and eternal victimization rants. Based on her past track record, it is only a matter of time until she is back. Just have to keep my own personal pain at bay until then.

So - my 11 yo daughter and I have been doing a lot of riding together, which has been great for Daddy-Daughter bonding. She loves bikes - I have a couple of old Yamaha trials bikes that she can't get enough of riding. With the inheriting of the 1970 Roadster, she is seeing this as a path to eventually riding on the road. I have decided to paint it her favourite colour - yellow (always like the look of a yellow Roadster...)

It was also because of my love for my daughter that I decided to put the Alton on my '72 Combat. I had never really rode 2-up much until this past year, and after a couple of heart-racing engine stalls, I figured it would be for the best to prevent anyone getting hurt.

More than once I have said that I learned more about engineering from rebuilding British Motorcycles than I did in six years of engineering school (undergrad and graduate). Certainly, that is a bit of hyperbole but from a practical, hands-on perspective it’s not as outrageous as some may think. Other than ENG-106 (Engineering Machine Shop), there were few practical classes in the late ‘60s Engineering curriculum until you found a co-op or engineering related job on you own.

From an early age my son showed the “Knack” or inclination for Engineering (of course!). So at the ripe age of 9 we started a rebuild of a 1968 Triumph. The bike originally was owned by a high school buddy who sold it to my nephew who totally neglected it. As he was headed to med school and needed the cash – I bought as a project for my son and I.

Over the next few years, it was a learning experience for both of us.

My son learned how a ball bearing feels when the races are dimpled, how to torque fasteners progressively and in a pattern, the difference between a press and a slip fit. Most importantly he learned the pride and satisfaction from doing quality work and completing a project.

I learned how to be patient while teaching, how to instill knowledge without being overbearing and how to show my love for my son in a practical exercise.

Twenty-five years later my son is now a graduate engineer, an avid motorcyclist, a skilled hands-on craftsman – and most importantly a good person and a good son.

I had to laugh. After I retired, I had a job in a design group in our local defence factory. My boss was a smart young mechanical engineer. I had bought a house in the town and had my Seeley 850 in the garage. He cam here with a few of our work mates and I showed him the bike. All he said was ' I am impressed'. The reason I laughed was I knew the capabilities of that group and what they did for a living. None of it ever went near the type of application you need to build a decent race bike.
When you get a university degree and some academic labels you 'competent', that really does not mean very much. Most academics have never had real jobs.
It is really funny - if you go the other way and get trade qualifications, the bike you build can look very agricultural. I was working in another factory and was road racing. My friend was downstairs in a machine shop, so we both made foreigners, but he had more opportunity. My bike looks functional, but you would nor ride his race bike to the pub..

My son is a qualified mechanical engineer in the construction industry - he does the mechanical services. He has made some good things, but he has not got the touch. It takes a certain mindset. When I build a race bike, I give the project a lot of thought, long before I ever start building. I think about gearboxes, weight distribution, engine characteristics, frames - all that stuff. The Seeley 850 was easy - my other project is a stinker. The motor is an H1 Kawasaki two stroke bottom end with RD350 Yamaha top end. It has TZ700 port timing and is 600cc. The frame is a copy of a 1970s Egli. The little things drive me crazy.

When I built the Seeley 850, I had followed the rolling chassis around for two years before I was able to buy it.