The Ten Commandoments

Norton-Villier · Mar 12, 2011

1. Thou shalt not chop a Norton.
2. Thou shalt not ignore the layshaft bearing.

grandpaul · Mar 12, 2011

3. Thou shalt have no other bikes before me.

4. Thou shalt honor thy shop manual's maintenance schedule and torque value tables.

pete.v · Mar 12, 2011

5. Honor thy Isolastic shims and tire pressures.

6. Thou shalt not blow up. (unless you really really want to, hobot)[sinner]

Hobot · Mar 12, 2011

5. Thou shall ignore manual to allow natural fluid levels to seek their own levels.

6. Thou shall not be led blindly by torque level chart but strain till correct stretch is reached to seal or twist off.

Big_Jim59 · Mar 12, 2011

7. Ride with care that thy days be long upon the earth.

Hortons Norton · Mar 12, 2011

8. Thou shall ride often and far.

travelerjerry · Mar 12, 2011

9. Thou shall not covet your neighbors Norton.

rvich · Mar 12, 2011

travelerjerry said:
9. Thou shall not covet your neighbors Norton.

Forgive me brother for I have sinned...

I have had lustfull feelings for my neighbor's Norton.

"Check all fluids, check tappets and carb adjustments and go ride...you will be forgiven"

Hobot · Mar 12, 2011

9. Thou shall not covet your neighbors Norton.

LOL, implies I'm going straight to hell for coveting to know, in the Biblical sense, others fine Commandos.

shrugger · Mar 12, 2011

And finally:
10.Thou shalt not Hillbilly thy Norton! For eternal torment and Damnation will ensue. :twisted:
(i.e. folks will poke fun at you forever and ever. Amen)

Hobot · Mar 12, 2011

Strike that hillbilly part as Norton would not exist if not being made to hooligan on it.

http://www.oldbritts.com/evol.html

THE EVOLUTION OF THE MOTORCYCLE

by Geoff Seddon

("The Evolution of the Motorcycle" is reproduced from Ozbike Thunder Down Under, an Australian lifestyle magazine.)

On the first day, God created the Heavens, the Earth, and the Wisemans Ferry Road. But He wasn't too happy, His Kingswood (automobile) would sway on the corners, crawl up the hills, and use heaps of juice.

On the second day, God took a new tack, and created the step through. He enjoyed the wind in His hair (He hadn't created helmets then), it was fun, and used bugger-all petrol, but it still crawled up the hills.

On the third day, God created the Honda Four, and it flew up the hills. With four into ones, it sounded better, it never broke down, but the corners remained a problem. Yet He had tasted power, and craved for more.

Thus, on the fourth day, He added two more cylinders to His Honda, and created adrenaline. His insurance premiums doubled, and it cost a fortune to get the tappets done. He also created fear (His hair turned white), and the cliché "enough is enough".

On the fifth day, God blew a couple of joints, had rap with Willie G., and created the Harley Davidson. He would cruise up and down the hills in top gear, and pick up heaps of babes. He would get off on the note. But the Hog was too heavy, broke down a lot and handled like the Kingswood.

Then, on the sixth day, He made the Bonneville. He would still pick up babes outside Wisemans Pub, and it sounded good. His bike was light, and for the first time, the corners were fun. It handled! God was stoked. But the vibration gave Him a pain in the arse, His kidneys were history, it was a touch gutless and He ran out of juice every 100 miles. He wasn't happy, but shit, He was close.

So finally, on the seventh day, God produced a motorcycle with the speed of a Honda, the torque of a Harley and the handling of a Triumph. He could afford the petrol, tune it Himself, pick up chicks and still blow off Ducatis through the corners. He called His bike Norton, and He was happy.

shrugger · Mar 12, 2011

You know exactly what I mean. LOL

bpatton · Mar 12, 2011

What God hath brought together, let no man lay asunder.

God: " Well, I can lay asunder anything I want to. And I'm gonna if you don't start using that Loctite and torque wrench I got you for Christmas. That reminds me, did I ever tell you that joke that was going around about Torquemada?"

rvich · Mar 12, 2011

This prayer probably was inspired by the Norton Commando...

"God grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Amen

Norton-Villier · Mar 12, 2011

10. Thou shalt not doubt L.A.B.s wisdom. Oh we have 10.Just kidding L.A.B.
Phil

Hobot · Mar 12, 2011

"God grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Oh brother and amend to this wisdom.

Unclviny · Mar 12, 2011

One thing has NEVER gone wrong with ANY British vehicle, there are 3 problems so fix the obvious one and search for the other 2 lest they bite you on the Butt later (they will anyway).

Vince