Post your jokes and humor here.

cliffa said:
When they became adult, the children of my wife's colleague asked him if they could go and get tattoo's. Yes he replied, but in return you must promise me that for the rest of your lives you will wear the same style of clothes and have the same haircuts. I think the penny dropped and they didn't bother.
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Well articulated.
 
A cop pulls over a car with two priests inside. Cop pokes his head in the window and says 'We're looking for two child molesters..."

The priests look at each other, turn back to face the cop and declare in unison 'We'll do it!"
 
One day the Chief Rabbi and the Pope were stuck in a lift that had broken down. They waited what seemed like hours for recovery.

While they were waiting, they had a chat about life and religion and their differences. After a while having exhausted their polite chitchat the Pope asked the Chief Rabbi….

” Rabbi, as a man of the cloth, and I’ll keep this between us, can you honestly answer a question for me?”

” Certainly” replied the Rabbi, “provided you also answer truthfully a question I ask”

The Pope readily agreed to his request.

“Rabbi, tell me please, have you ever eaten Pork?”

Rather embarrassed the Rabbi replied “yes indeed I have”

’…and did you enjoy it?’ Asked the Pope

” Indeed, I did” replied the Rabbi, flushing deeply. “And now I have a question for you, and you must answer me truthfully as well”

” Please tell me, and remember to answer honestly now, have you ever had sex with a member of your congregation?”

The Pope was rather taken aback by this very personal question, after all he had taken a vow to be celibate and not get involved with the pleasures of the flesh. But he had already asked a delicate question of the Chief Rabbi and wasn’t going to go back in his word, and anyway they had both promised to keep their discussions a secret.

Haltingly, with his face going a deep crimson colour from his embarrassment the Pope said “yes I have, but please don’t tell anybody”

The Chief Rabbi then asked “and did you enjoy it?”

” Yes, I did “replied the Pope, hanging his head in shame

to which the Chief Rabbi said “I knew it. I just knew you were keeping a secret from the world” and then added,

“…. it’s a lot better than Pork, isn’t it?”
 
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Dan1950 said:
In the winter of '70/'71 I opened a package of "C" rations with a green package of "Lucky Strikes" inside.
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These advertisements were quite probably pre 1964...when TV advertisements were banned... energy value in cigarettes .... Zero
 
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