The good thing about us Aussies we can put sh.t on each other and not get offended its the Aussie way
![Wink ;) ;)](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png)
and my Kiwi friends are the same.
Talking about that Ash...
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi, “G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?”
The villager replied: “The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie!”
Ignoring him, the ventriloquist bent down to the dog: “Hello dog, how's it going mate?”
Dog: “Yeah, doin' all right.”
The Kiwi nearly fell over with shock.
The ventriloquist went on: “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)
Dog: “Yep!”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
The Kiwi had a look of utter disbelief.
The ventriloquist looked at him: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Kiwi: “Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.”
Ventriloquist: “Hey horse, how's it going?”
Horse: “Cool!”
The Kiwi was absolutely dumbfounded.
Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.”
Kiwi looked on with a look of total amazement.
The ventriloquist asked him: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
The Kiwi, with rising panic in his voice, responded: “The sheep's a f###ing liar!!”