Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
  • Start date Start date
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
Time for a legal joke I think...

Mr. Jones calls his lawyer, Mr. Smyth’s office, and Miss Perkins, Mr. Smyth’s secretary, answers the phone.

“Good morning, Miss Perkins, this is Mr. Jones. May I talk to Mr. Smyth?”

Miss Perkins, who sounds very sad, says,

“Oh, Mr. Jones! I’m sorry to tell you this, but Mr. Smyth passed away suddenly last night. We’re all in shock!”

“Thank you Miss Perkins.” And Mr. Jones hangs up.

The next day, Mr. Jones again calls Mr. Smyth’s office.

“Good morning, Miss Perkins, this is Mr. Jones. May I talk to Mr. Smyth?”

Miss Perkins knows Mr. Jones is getting on in age, and she suspects that Mr. Jones is just confused. She says,

“Mr. Jones! I’m sorry to tell you this, but Mr. Smyth passed away suddenly a couple of days ago…”

Mr. Jones responds, “Thank you Miss Perkins.” And Mr. Jones hangs up.

The very next day, and for several days in a row, Mr. Jones calls and Miss Perkins keeps giving Mr. Jones the same story about the passing of Mr. Smyth…

Again, Mr. Jones calls Mr. Smyth’s office.

“Good morning, Miss Perkins, this is Mr. Jones. May I talk to Mr. Smyth?”

Exasperated, Miss Perkins finally responds to Mr. Jones in anger.

“Mr. Jones, every day for a week now, you call here and you ask to speak to Mr. Smyth. And every day for a week I tell you that Mr. Smyth is dead! DEAD! Do you understand? You call and I tell you that Mr. Smyth is DEAD! Certainly you understand that! He’s DEAD! Why do you keep calling?”

Mr. Jones replies, “I know you keep telling me that Mr. Smyth is dead, Miss Perkins. I just like to hear you say it!”
 

Apparently a true story. During a lecture, an Oxford philosopher made the claim that although a double negative in English implies a positive meaning, there is no language in the world, including English, in which a double positive implies a negative. To which US philosopher Sidney Morgenbesser responded with a dismissive tone, "Yeah, yeah."​

 
marshg246 said:
Damn, are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Reminds me of the first time I watched (tried to watch) Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke. Had to stop and come back to it multiple times because I literally thought I would die laughing!
Click to expand...
Makes you realise just how good it is to have a proper good laugh !
 
...following on from that, the aluminium smelter where I worked actually tried forbidding people from saying "That's nice". You can imagine how that went down! 🤣 🤣
 
Back
Top