Mechanical engineering insights

Subject: Understanding Engineers





Understanding Engineers #1_
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The
first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes
probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers #2_
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass
is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs
to be.

Understanding Engineers #3_
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh,
yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's
so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The
doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers #4_
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build
targets.

Understanding Engineers #5_
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers #6_
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must
have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a
civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers #7_
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers #8_
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took
the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the
pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've
told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one
week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer
said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but
a talking frog - now that's cool."

Great stuff!

I have worked with many engineers. I have neighbors who are engineers. My father in law is an engineer. They are all a special breed. Very inteligent, but somehow off a little.

Smile when you say that pardner. We think the machinists are always off.

The hardest thing to find today in my business is engineers who know how to use spanners! All the young guys are computer fixated and few really get their hands dirty. A real world circumstance is their cars and bikes are almost impossible to work on without factory diagnostics systems and special tools, or warranty is voided if not done by a dealer. So, as a result the analogue world of nuts and bolts is alien to them. I had one guy looking the gearbox on my Norton and he was totally puzzled. He pointed at the kick lever and said "what's that?". The concept of a non-electric start engine was entirely unkown to him.

Mick

Thats a sad fact about the world we live in today Mick,
I've found the same in the aviation industry, years ago the engineering offices were full of old blokes who didn't want to crawl around an aircraft any more, they might not of had an engineering degree but they knew the aircraft inside out. These days the offices are full of young lads straight out of college who quite possibly could not spell spanner. I had an example of their lack of experience the other month, the "engineer" wanted to shot blast a nose landing gear in situ, when I suggested the alternative (easier and cleaner) procedure of flap peening he asked me "what's that ?"

Webby

PS: Great jokes Hobot

I delt quite a bit with Cessna engineers while doing avionics mods. It was very painful at times trying to convince them that what works on the computer does not always work in the real world. Cessna started designing new aircraft right with the Mustang. They had mechanics from all the service centers come to Wichita and work on the prototype. If it was difficult to perform a task, that section was redesigned. It was done this way part due to the maintainance program that was sold with the airplane, to keep their after sale costs down. But it a step in the direction of progress.

This is true in a lot of ways. As a structural inspector in construction, these days I meet a lot of Inspectors who just went to school to get licences but never worked a day in the trades. Mostly city inspectors but some independent deputy's too. They all lack any common knowage of how things really get done, they have a head of memorized book stuff but don't even know why or what 1/2 the stuff is. It's like learning a language but not knowing what the words mean.

Keep em coming Hob.
Yes I spent a good part of my early working years dealing with Engineers in the Building trade (civil and construction) and um yeah.. anyway.
Nice blokes. Some seem to be over educated and under experienced.
No offence to any one.
I do however usually feel safe when up in a multi story building.

AussieCombat said:

Some seem to be over educated and under experienced.

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I agree with you here! I am a senior at California State University, Chico in Mechanical Engineering. I have excelled in the subject matter offered at the school, however I do feel that the curriculum needs to incorporate more hands on methods of learning. The only hands on experience we mechanical engineers have exiting the program at CSU Chico, are laboratory exercises and a year long senior design project. The senior design project does give us a great opportunity to get our hands a little dirty, cause we definitely don't while sitting behind a computer!

However, I am fortunate to have a father that is a contractor. I have worked on houses, trellises, patios, wood furniture, classic cars- you name it. The skills and knowledge I have learned from him, could not be learned in a classroom! I feel very lucky and ahead of the game!

amen on the comments...I got most of the way through a ME and later an EE degree (a long story) and only a few of my fellow students were gearheads, electronic hobbyists, etc and many were studying engineering for the wrong reasons, i.e. good job prospects, a BS would be enough, etc. From what I've seen and heard this what not so much the case in years past, many US engineering students were kids that built things (hot rods, radios, etc.), had some smarts, and wanted to move on to designing machines, electronics, etc....

I agree with pretty much everything that has been said here
Bluto makes a good point that most engineers would have been gear heads in years gone by, the problem today is that you can no longer fix or modify a modern car or bike and whens the last time you heard of someone building a radio? These are all skills that will eventually die out.
I guess that's why a lot of us here run an old bike, you can play with them

Webby

Webby03 said:

I agree with pretty much everything that has been said here
Bluto makes a good point that most engineers would have been gear heads in years gone by, the problem today is that you can no longer fix or modify a modern car or bike and whens the last time you heard of someone building a radio? These are all skills that will eventually die out.
I guess that's why a lot of us here run an old bike, you can play with them

Webby

Click to expand...

I haven;t build a radio, but do build my own tube/valve guitar amps from scratch, when one is built and the inevitable debugging (in my case at least) complete it is very satisfying playing through it for the first time, sorta like firing a rebuilt engine up the first time and then taking the bike for a ride

Dang I never got that handy in electronics to build anything useful, but have watched some radio wave clinic equipment repair with power tubes the size of two D size batteries. I shopped most the world to get a stock of these tubes and found a dozen in Houston for $125 each and was able to grade them by plugging into circuit and monitoring output as no hand truck test unit for those babies.

Another big difference on engineering past and present, the ascetics of form and function.
I'm always impressed at some of C'do fasteners that just barely allow access to turn one flat at a time, wondering how they got it some close a call.

I built my first radio 45 years ago when I was ten and I was fortunate enough to be a service technician for 5 years before I realised I wanted to design and went back to uni as a "mature"-age student at 22. I took a degree in electronics engineering and my post-grad in digital electronics. I'm still designing and still using my technician skills to debug my own designs. This approach also helps me with the Norton, but it doesn't stop there, I recently did a bore hone and new rings in the TRX850 (a 270degree parallel twin with DOHC and 5 valves per cylinder engine for those not in the know) something I would not even have considered without cutting my teeth on the Norton. Two weeks ago a new water pump and cam belt on my little old MX5 - saving myself about a grand in labour, again thanks to the Norton. Hands-on, yes please and I think it follows from this that responsible design should be repairable, not replaceable.

I envy your electronics and impressed with the excess valve motor construction. My education is more in the juicer biological stuff, so absorbing the brain waves from listee's to fill in my weakness.