Have You Ever Done Something Impressive?

Have you ever done something that, to the casual observer, was really impressive?

Two such incidents come to mind. The first happened at a group ride we sponsored at the Honda store. As people were gathering a guy rode up on a nice TX650 Yamaha. The bike was running on one cylinder and the guy was really worried about getting home. He said "it just started running like that and I don't know what to do?" He was in a panic. I looked it over, determined which side was just warm and just started looking for something. I asked him to open the seat. He did and I loosened the rear tank bolt. I lifted the tank high enough to release the trapped plug wire that was firmly wedged between the seam of the tank and the head. I put everything back and told him to try it. To his amazement it banged right off and ran great on both cylinders. He looked at me like I was some kind of conjurer.

Another time I had a buddy that called me one Saturday afternoon. He had changed the plugs and plug wires on his Chevy Suburban with the V8 and now it wouldn't run. Would I come look at it? The car was in his drive with the hood up as I pulled in. I stood over the left fender and stared down at the engine. It took a while but I finally straightened myself up reached in and swapped several plug wires around. I said "try it now." It cranked right up. It was as if I had done a magic trick. He couldn't have been more amazed if I had pulled a rabbit out of a hat. "How did you know" he asked? I hated to reveal my magic secrets but I showed him were the firing order was cast into the engine.

I have never done anything to impress the bystanders on a Norton.

Well, there was this one time, after power drinking in the pool for 4 hours (bikes were put away, the intention to have dinner on site, Jordan Grand Hotel, Sunday River ski mountain) when, the Ural distributor offered me a test ride. Bathing suit & flip-flops, I coerced my moto-bud (a fast, fearless bastidd) to get in the chair, began flying it after 20', and he was squeeling like a school girl. 36hp is quite athletic when aimed DOWN a ski slope...

I once got applause for my rapid and accurate parallel parking skills. I'm not kidding!

My neighbor bought a surplus road grader from the state and after it had been delivered- winched off the trailer- proceeded to try to get it running for the better part of a week. He could get it to roll over and puff a time or two but couldn’t get it to go. I wandered over and noted it had a 2-stroke diesel engine and that the emergency shutdown slamplate on the supercharger appeared to be closed. I reached up, moved the lever to its other position, and said “Try it now!” And it fired up and ran beautifully.

Mind you, I had never touched a road grader or a Detroit 2-stroke diesel before- but I had read somewhere about the intake blocking plate that was there in case the engine ran away and couldn’t be shut off. My total interaction time with it was about a minute.

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good!

At age 14 I won the A&W hamburger eating contest by eating 11 Teen burgers along with a couple of quarts of root beer to wash it down. I won $25. The prize was $50, which I shared with my 10 year old neighbour. He had won a spot in the contest. Contest rules stipulated that the people who won a spot in the contest could choose someone to pitch-eat for them.
He knew that I consumed a lot of food on a regular basis and he also knew that as a 75 pound ten year old he had no chance of winning. Pretty much everyone in the contest was a Pitcheater. There were a couple of big obese 20 year old guys there, but they only managed 5 or 6 burgers at which point they were nauseated and quit.
My biggest competition was from a skinny young guy, about my age and height, but built like a fencepost. He managed 9 burgers.


The contest took place around noon and at 5 pm that day my Father decided that we should all head out to McDonald's for dinner that night. I guess he thought that, after 11 Teen burgers a few hours earlier, I would be off my food and his cost for dinner would be reduced. No chance, I still managed to down 6 regular McDonald's burgers. They were pretty puny compared to those big A&W Teen burgers, but still went down OK.



Glen

Over 35 years ago I was doing some work on my Norton and my mate was watching me do a few things, I was on the left hand side of the Norton and he was on the other side, the Norton had a Boyar EI in it at the time and when you turned on the ignition switch it sparked as I was about to get up to fire it up I turn on the ignition switch and the motor was just in the right position and it fired up on that spark and I was still on the left side of my bike, my mate Eddie was beside the kicker and said "how did you do that" as the motor sat idling away, he was so amazed, but I never did tell him how or why, well not for a few weeks after but he kept bugging me about that day, in 32+ years with the Boyar it had done that trick 2x firing up by turning on the ignition switch.
My mate Eddie was killed in a bike accident 6 month later just down the road from my place, I miss my old mate, he rode a 1947 AJS 500 but was killed on another bike.

Ashley

When I first moved to the house I'm at now I noticed some local kids trying to start a honda 50
This went on for a few days
In the end I said to them let me take a look at it
I found it had no spark
And tracing it back within minutes I found the points wire was connected up the wrong side of the insulator on the points
I kicked it over and it started right up
It was at this point my neighbour from 2 doors up came out
Apparently it'd been his bike but ever since he changed the points it wouldn't run so he'd given it to the kids
All the kids were cheering when it started,then they were off down the fields on it
No doubt annoying people but they weren't bad kids
They came back a few times when they broke something
They'd wait for me to come home from work,it used to drive me ex mad

ashman said:

Over 35 years ago I was doing some work on my Norton and my mate was watching me do a few things, I was on the left hand side of the Norton and he was on the other side, the Norton had a Boyar EI in it at the time and when you turned on the ignition switch it sparked as I was about to get up to fire it up I turn on the ignition switch and the motor was just in the right position and it fired up on that spark and I was still on the left side of my bike, my mate Eddie was beside the kicker and said "how did you do that" as the motor sat idling away, he was so amazed, but I never did tell him how or why, well not for a few weeks after but he kept bugging me about that day, in 32+ years with the Boyar it had done that trick 2x firing up by turning on the ignition switch.
My mate Eddie was killed in a bike accident 6 month later just down the road from my place, I miss my old mate, he rode a 1947 AJS 500 but was killed on another bike.

Ashley

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I had a buddy that was a Motor Cop. As you said, back in the day the ignitions used to spark when switched on. He and his partner were just finishing lunch and had walked outside to the bikes. He said "there were a bunch of kids standing around looking at the bikes." He flipped on the ignition and like your Norton, everything was perfectly aligned and the bike coughed and started to idle slowly. He said "all the kids looked shocked but I never let on the something miraculous had happened. I just told them is was something new that Harley was working on and not to tell anyone."

RIP Eddie. Gone the way of Leroy, Rex, Jerry, Leo, Sue, Sammy, Debby and all our mates that still live on in our memories.

You all didn't disappoint. The collective skills and significant lucky coincidences are just stellar.

Hitched a first-time ride (note "NOVICE" t-shirt) on a Formula 1 sidecar, we won both races that weekend (Rick Murray's LCR GSX1000)


Lucked into a free ride on a Formula 500 Kawasaki H1R r3eplica triple, took 3rd place the first time out. Had to get used to left-foot shift, 5-up pattern and ZERO rear brakes. Dude that I just met 10 minutes earlier and shared my garage with, let me keep the bike the second half of the season, and give it back to him at Barber's. I took 3rd in F500 that year.



Many people seem to think this was a pretty impressive chopper rescue (Figured I'd better add some Norton Commando content)

A friend with an old Land Rover was trying to start it after years of sitting idle without success …. battery flattened several times over a period many weeks.
Reluctantly and with some shame he asked me for help ( I also have one )
Fixed in around 30 seconds
The points had oxidised and dragging some wet / dry through them cleaned them up.
He called me a smug t##t as it fired up

I have one more story. I may have told it here in another thread but I am getting old and I repeat my stories. It's my duty as an old man to bore people with the same stories.

Back in my mechanic days, I had a customer come in and unload his bike. I got a blank service ticket out and ask him when he needed. he said He needed a tune up, anything to get the bike running. Then he confided in me that he had bought the bike, had heard the bike run but was never able to get it started himself. The bike in question was a very nice square barreled 441 Victor. I walked around it and asked if I could give it a try?

With the gas on I tickled the carb. I went through the well practiced drill turning the engine over and using the compression release just past TDC. With the ignition on I returned kickstart lever to the top of the stroke and gave it a solid but not over hard kick. It fired right up and even idled.

I thought the guy would be pleased but he was massively pissed. He turned red. "It's TRICK! He blurted out." I had no idea how long he had been try to start it but I am sure it was pretty cruel. As many of you know, you think you are kicking the bike through but all you are doing is slipping through the clutch. I told him that yes, it was a trick but I could show him. I gave him a lesson and helped him put his bike back in the truck. He called me at the shop a few hours later completely overjoyed. He had managed the trick himself.

grandpaul said:

Hitched a first-time ride (note "NOVICE" t-shirt) on a Formula 1 sidecar, we won both races that weekend (Rick Murray's LCR GSX1000)

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I am SO jealous. I have always wanted to take a turn on a real racing sidecar rig. It looks terrifyingly wonderful. Sometimes I think I missed my calling as ballast.

Big_Jim59 said:

I have one more story. I may have told it here in another thread but I am getting old and I repeat my stories. It's my duty as an old man to bore people with the same stories.

Back in my mechanic days, I had a customer come in and unload his bike. I got a blank service ticket out and ask him when he needed. he said He needed a tune up, anything to get the bike running. Then he confided in me that he had bought the bike, had heard the bike run but was never able to get it started himself. The bike in question was a very nice square barreled 441 Victor. I walked around it and asked if I could give it a try?

With the gas on I tickled the carb. I went through the well practiced drill turning the engine over and using the compression release just past TDC. With the ignition on I returned kickstart lever to the top of the stroke and gave it a solid but not over hard kick. It fired right up and even idled.

I thought the guy would be pleased but he was massively pissed. He turned red. "It's TRICK! He blurted out." I had no idea how long he had been try to start it but I am sure it was pretty cruel. As many of you know, you think you are kicking the bike through but all you are doing is slipping through the clutch. I told him that yes, it was a trick but I could show him. I gave him a lesson and helped him put his bike back in the truck. He called me at the shop a few hours later completely overjoyed. He had managed the trick himself.

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441s can be ANYTHING - easy enough for a young lady to start with her HAND (Bill Getty of JRC has a video), or so hard that even "the trick" doesn't work (usually carburation or timing). But boy are they fun once they're sorted...

Big_Jim59 said:

I am SO jealous. I have always wanted to take a turn on a real racing sidecar rig. It looks terrifyingly wonderful.

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Just show up at almost any AHRMA race with full leathers w/ back protection, latest spec helmet, and good gloves and boots. The call is BOUND to go over the P.A. "anyone wanting to volunteer as a sidecar passenger, report to tech"...

(although, they may have recently started requiring a racing license, so you might look into it)

Big_Jim59 said:

I am SO jealous. I have always wanted to take a turn on a real racing sidecar rig. It looks terrifyingly wonderful.

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150 on the straights, 80 in the Omega hairpin.

On the FIRST LAP in PRACTICE, I was thinking "Now, which is the slowest corner, where I can just let go and roll off in the dirt?"

"Terrifying" becomes "Terribly Fun" after about 3 sessions, and you get a handle on the weight-shift timing.

grandpaul said:

Just show up at almost any AHRMA race with full leathers w/ back protection, latest spec helmet, and good gloves and boots. The call is BOUND to go over the P.A. "anyone wanting to volunteer as a sidecar passenger, report to tech"...

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I am afraid my racing days are long gone. I realized that on the long down hill at Oak Hill Raceway when two FZRs passed me like I was backing up. I just pulled into the pits and realized that I didn't care enough about who was in front of me. As for side cars, I have trouble getting up off my knees in the shop! Some opportunities pass us by and we do not realize they are gone until it's too late.

Big_Jim59 said:

I am afraid my racing days are long gone. I realized that on the long down hill at Oak Hill Raceway when two FZRs passed me like I was backing up. I just pulled into the pits and realized that I didn't care enough about who was in front of me. As for side cars, I have trouble getting up off my knees in the shop! Some opportunities pass us by and we do not realize they are gone until it's too late.

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Yep, that was 14 years ago (2010), the last time I raced. I was only 52 then.

I'd probably do it again, but I just don't the freedom and play money that I did back then.

...and I've gained almost 10 pounds, and I broke my right leg 3 years ago, and...

I used to run a beat up old van that was addicted to Easy Start.

A mate with a posh newer van used to take the piss, both out of my van and out of Easy Start, he thought it was a con.

One day I swapped the plug caps around on his van. When he came out, he was puzzled as to why his van wouldn’t start.

’wassup mate’ I shouts, and walked over to ‘help‘ with my Easy Start.

I popped the bonnet, swapped the leads back, and sprayed loads of Easy Start so he could smell it. ‘Try that’ I shouts.

Low and behold, it fired up straight away.

He was gobsmacked.

He carried Easy Start with him after that.

I never did come clean !

Fast Eddie said:

I used to run a beat up old van that was addicted to Easy Start.

A mate with a posh newer van used to take the piss, both out of my van and out of Easy Start, he thought it was a con.

One day I swapped the plug caps around on his van. When he came out, he was puzzled as to why his van wouldn’t start.

’wassup mate’ I shouts, and walked over to ‘help‘ with my Easy Start.

I popped the bonnet, swapped the leads back, and sprayed loads of Easy Start so he could smell it. ‘Try that’ I shouts.

Low and behold, it fired up straight away.

He was gobsmacked.

He carried Easy Start with him after that.

I never did come clean !

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"Sleeping medecine"