Post your jokes and humor here.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Voodooo
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baz said:
Occasionally in the morning on my way to work there's a group of 6 cyclists all dressed the same
They ride 5 in a line
And one rides in the middle of the pack making it two abreast
This is around 7am and it's a narrow country road that's used very heavily for commuting
The traffic it's causes is unbelievable
And of course you can't legally overtake them in a car after the change in the highway code as the road isn't wide enough
I find it very odd that they do it ?
I could maybe understand on a weekend when it's not so busy!
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They do it on purpose just to f&^k with you!
 
Lineslinger said:
Yup. I thought I read "Insert bumper and left front tire here".
I don't GAS if the guy is a vegan cyclist but why does he have to advertise his carrot eating pedal pushing perceived superiority to the world?
I would assume its because he has a very tiny short dick and feels compelled to compensate?
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a warning to maintain your distance - to avoid inhalation of 'gas'.
 
Lineslinger said:
Yup. I thought I read "Insert bumper and left front tire here".
I don't GAS if the guy is a vegan cyclist but why does he have to advertise his carrot eating pedal pushing perceived superiority to the world?
I would assume its because he has a very tiny short dick and feels compelled to compensate?
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They may as well have tops saying “self righteous virtue signaller”.

Practically says the exact same thing.
 
Fast Eddie said:
They may as well have tops saying “self righteous virtue signaller”.

Practically says the exact same thing.
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The thing is they are not all like that
And I don't have any issues with someone cycling at all
But I don't get the two abreast riding
The ignoring of traffic lights
And above all the fat lycra clad fat over optimistic middle aged men that think their leisure activity is more important than people trying to get to work !
 
baz said:
The thing is they are not all like that
And I don't have any issues with someone cycling at all
But I don't get the two abreast riding
The ignoring of traffic lights
And above all the fat lycra clad fat over optimistic middle aged men that think their leisure activity is more important than people trying to get to work !
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I have two good friends that are bicycling enthusiasts. But, they are not the over the top judgmental type I sometimes encounter.

I was driving an Austin Healey 3K that I had restored on a warm early Sunday morning with the top down. While waiting at a stoplight, an obviously serious cyclist (I could tell by the spandex "uniform" he was sporting) pulled up next to me, looks down and says "is your dick really that small?" clearly admonishing my cool sports car, its fossil fuel consumption and my enthusiasm for it.
I asked back "since you seem to be so infatuated with riding your bike around asking other guys about their dicks, especially mine, know this...my dick will always be bigger than yours, just ask your sister!"

I continued with my response letting him know that the police would surely be interested to know there is some guy riding a bicycle down on Forsyth boulevard asking passers by about the size of their dick!
He didn't say another word. Instead he ran the red light and off he went.
Dick.
 
Lineslinger said:
I have two good friends that are bicycling enthusiasts. But, they are not the over the top judgmental type I sometimes encounter.

I was driving an Austin Healey 3K that I had restored on a warm early Sunday morning with the top down. While waiting at a stoplight, an obviously serious cyclist (I could tell by the spandex "uniform" he was sporting) pulled up next to me, looks down and says "is your dick really that small?" clearly admonishing my cool sports car, its fossil fuel consumption and my enthusiasm for it.
I asked back "since you seem to be so infatuated with riding your bike around asking other guys about their dicks, especially mine, know this...my dick will always be bigger than yours, just ask your sister!"

I continued with my response letting him know that the police would surely be interested to know there is some guy riding a bicycle down on Forsyth boulevard asking passers by about the size of their dick!
He didn't say another word. Instead he ran the red light and off he went.
Dick.
Click to expand...
Was his sister any good in the sack lol.
 
Two Cowboys stranded out in the desert and are walking along and then out in the distance one of them spots a bacon tree and shouts were saved and starts running towards it. As he gets closer Shots rings out and they were getting fired upon, ....turns out it wasn't a bacon tree it was a hambush :)
 
Post your jokes and humor here.
 
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