Found it

Joined
Jul 3, 2006
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Hi guys,

On the subject of "God rides a Norton" here is a copy of the poem/story I was seeking. I finally got hold of the author of the original document. He didn't have a copy himself but was able to point me in the direction of someone who did have one. It's quite amusing and for those who don't know the Kingswood was/is an iconic Australian motor car (a shit box if you ask me). Enjoy

Andy

THE EVOLUTION OF THE MOTORCYCLE

by Geoff Seddon

("The Evolution of the Motorcycle" is reproduced from Ozbike Thunder Down Under, an Australian lifestyle magazine.)

On the first day, God created the Heavens, the Earth, and the Wisemans Ferry Road. But He wasn't too happy, His Kingswood would sway on the corners, crawl up the hills, and use heaps of juice.

On the second day, God took a new tack, and created the step through. He enjoyed the wind in His hair (He hadn't created helmets then), it was fun, and used bugger-all petrol, but it still crawled up the hills.

On the third day, God created the Honda Four, and it flew up the hills. With four into ones, it sounded better, it never broke down, but the corners remained a problem. Yet He had tasted power, and craved for more.

Thus, on the fourth day, He added two more cylinders to His Honda, and created adrenaline. His insurance premiums doubled, and it cost a fortune to get the tappets done. He also created fear (His hair turned white), and the cliché "enough is enough".

On the fifth day, God blew a couple of joints, had rap with Willie G., and created the Harley Davidson. He would cruise up and down the hills in top gear, and pick up heaps of babes. He would get off on the note. But the Hog was too heavy, broke down a lot and handled like the Kingswood.

Then, on the sixth day, He made the Bonneville. He would still pick up babes outside Wisemans Pub, and it sounded good. His bike was light, and for the first time, the corners were fun. It handled! God was stoked. But the vibration gave Him a pain in the arse, His kidneys were history, it was a touch gutless and He ran out of juice every 100 miles. He wasn't happy, but shit, He was close.

So finally, on the seventh day, God produced a motorcycle with the speed of a Honda, the torque of a Harley and the handling of a Triumph. He could afford the petrol, tune it Himself, pick up chicks and still blow off Ducatis through the corners. He called His bike Norton, and He was happy.
 
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
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Andy, Sorry to disagree but in my view the chap who wrote this was wise not to have kept a copy, I find this to be neither prose nor poetry but egregious doggerel. Australia has many fine poets and writers but Geoff Seddon is not one of them.
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
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Dave,

I think you've missed the point. This piece is meant to be fun, a bit whimsical.
I'm disappointed that some one as highly educated as yourself (who else but a highly educated man would use words like egregious and doggerel if not a highly educated man).

I agree, Australia has been the birth place of many great writers not the least amongst them that whimsical fellow who coined one of our most famous Australian signatures.

"Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, Oi, Oi, Oi"

(anonymous)
 
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Jan 18, 2006
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It really takes an aussie to appreciate the humour. Unfortunately I came out from England at age 15. My wife, born in Adelaide has taught me after 25 years how to laugh and continually opposes my british stiff upper lip.
She and a friend were flying back from Los Angeles when the inflight movie was THE CASTLE , not a murmer from the plane load of American tourists , Josie and friend were rolling in there seats with laughter.
Aussie humour, definately an aquired taste.
 
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Andy, I appreciate Aussie humour very much and thoroughly enjoy work as diverse as that of Banjo Patterson, Kevin-Bloody-Wilson, Clive James and Barry Humphries (a brilliant and erudite man if you ever get a chance to read his prose). I don't find the piece offends my sensibilities in any way other than the fact that I think it's not very good.
My upper lip is almost moribund after a life in Asia and I only used the words 'egregious' and 'doggerel' after a lengthy trawl through my thesaurus in order to fool you into thinking I was a polymath rather than a humble car mechanic.
As for; Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, Oi, Oi, Oi. Definitely poetry.
 
Joined
Nov 21, 2005
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and to think once,

The Sun Never Set on Our Empire

remarkable !!

g'day y'all :eek:)
 
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
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696
Dave

Whether the poem was "quality" or not....I had no trouble seeing the attempt at humor in it...and that's the point.

To pick it apart and make the poor fellow who took the time to write this love letter to his bike; feel lousy about his prose.......come on. Bet you can't do better.

Now's your chance to blow us all away......set your version on paper. Let's see what you can come up with..... :wink:
 
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A Norton fanatic wrote doggerel
About God on his bike metaphorical
This egregious ditty
allegedly witty
provoking discussions rhetorical
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
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Dave M and Jason Curtiss

Drum roll - BOOM BOOM

both gave me a laugh

anyone else for some light relief


One cow walks up to another and says

"Moooooooooooo"

The other cow looks annoyed and say

"awwwww, I was going to say that"

Now it's just getting silly
 
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Oct 19, 2005
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Andy, anybody who owns a Norton needs a sense of humour and the ability to agree to disagree. A beer and a ride on my Norton await your next visit to Hong Kong.
 
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