Becoming a Senior

MichaelB

"Sons of Arthritus"
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Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.


Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed We’re having a meeting

I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.

Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent it to myself.

Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

"On time" is, when you get there.

Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound

It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
 
I hug "feel" my barmaid on a regular basis! She's 42 soooo that make me even younger then I think or is thought!
 
Well its official for me I now have my seniors card to prove it, getting a few benefits and free public transportation off peak, but as for riding my Norton and my Thruxton my riding style hasn't changed from my youth, just a bit more wiser and smarter in what I do and still show up a lot of the younger guys that ride with us old buggers, I am not going to let old age catch up too soon, keeping busy and do things, don't let old age get to you.

Ashley
 
I met a lady the other day who is 94. I told her 'we are all winners' - the finish flag is at age 80, after that we just cruise around to the pits. My father died at age 63, mainly from smoking cigarettes. If you get past 80, you have done very well. My enemy is boredom, I think my brain keeps me alive - genuine interest in what I do. Life is a learning process and it involves emotions. Experiences are important - even just conversations with other silly old fools.
In my bedroom, there is a large flatscreen TV on my chest of drawers beside my bed. I often wake early in the morning and watch Youtube. I have earphones, so I don't wake my wife in the next room. I learn all sorts of things - I now know a lot about economics, Nazis and Donald Trump. I like the history videos - especially the ones about Vespasian and Hannibal. I also watch movies I have made by putting Youtube music videos together with an editor. When you do that, the capabilities of the artists become more evident. I edit out the applause and credits. The one I have just done is a blues movie with Taj Mahal, Ry Cooder and Justin Johnson -it is pretty good.

 
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Sorry to hear that. Can you take out a big loan or something?
I do not have that problem because I wear a wedding ring. - (cynical ? ) My wife is not happy at the moment - I gave one of her rivals a memory stick - (literally, not figuratively speaking). I love my wife and I don't have the need to shag anyone else. But the old dears are always thinking. They are always very nice to me. It is great when you can laugh at life.
I just wonder where they all were when I was 20 - they did not want to know me then. - I must be the last man left standing
 
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One of my friends is about 3 years older then me. He is having a major crisis about getting old, so he has gone back to work, which involves climbing up onto roofs.
 
Sorry to hear that. Can you take out a big loan or something?
No I am happy with what I have at home, but all my old mates who are single and old have gone OS to find their young Thai girls that they fall in love with to find they are only interested it the piggy bank and as soon as the money dries up so do the girls.
But love is blind and when they do wake up its way too late and they been milked for everything.
 
And as men get older, the women they fancy get younger.
I don't know about that. Have you talked to a young girl?? I married a cutie and she is still a cutie. Fortunately I was never much to look at so she married me in spite of my looks or my pocketbook. I told her last night that she was the best decision I ever almost didn't make. (She said "are we going to get married or what?") She made my life full with kids, projects and purpose. There is no telling how I would have ended up if it were not for her.
 
I don't know about that. Have you talked to a young girl?? I married a cutie and she is still a cutie. Fortunately I was never much to look at so she married me in spite of my looks or my pocketbook. I told her last night that she was the best decision I ever almost didn't make. (She said "are we going to get married or what?") She made my life full with kids, projects and purpose. There is no telling how I would have ended up if it were not for her.
Yes- it was a cynical generalisation.

As everyone knows, all generalisations are wrong!
 
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Triton thrasher said
And as men get older, the women they fancy get younger.



My 94 year old father, who was in an aged care told me he was getting married again, to an 18 year old employee at the nursing home. He wanted my approval. He insisted that it was her that wanted him, and that she was genuine.

When I spoke to the staff they told me that it was his second infatuation, and that he had previously been chatting up a 40 year old staff member. The staff supervisor told me that the 18 year old girl had asked to be reassigned to a different part of the complex.

Next time that I visited my father, the romance wasn’t going so well. He told me the aged care home had forbidden the 18 year old from seeing him, but that he would be seeing her after she finished her shift. About 2 weeks later my father passed away, Oct 2023.

Incidentally my father was still riding his 250cc Honda up until he was 90. But I wonder if it was his dream of an 18 year old that finally stopped his heart.

ando

 
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