I've been thinking of starting this topic for a few days now after reading the posts in the "Roadside Repairs" thread. Some of these are appearing in that thread but I still thought it best to keep the topic separate and hopefully illicit more memories in this vain. I'm hoping to avoid tragedies but rather touch on some of those near misses we all encounter at times. I'll start the ball rolling with a favorite of mine.

I was working for a pipefitting company at an annual shut down on an oil refinery. There was a private drive separate from the main entrance for the crew once you got on their property that consisted of a 1/4 mile straight with a slight up hill grade which then leveled off at the rear gate and then went into a beautiful 90' banked turn that even a simi tanker truck could take at 70 mph. (it was made for bikes).

The night before when I got home my brother informed me my boss had called and I needed to be at work an hour early tomorrow. OK I thought, I was in the middle of switching my front brakes and was short some parts but that was alright, I'd just stick it together without the discs and calipers just for the jaunt to work and back. The big headache was I'd have to get up at 5:30am in order to deglaze a badly sticking clutch. I got my bike mobil with no time to spare and booted off to work. It was going to be close whether I made it on time or not so I really opened it up on the private road I just tapped it into 4th doing 85 - 90 mph as I reached the top of the straight and the road leveled off enough for me to see the 8' chain link fence gate closed dead ahead. With no front brake I started grabbing gears fast while basically standing on the rear brake lever and before I could blink I hit the gate! My handle bars bent and rotated forward, I went into a total vertical hand stand position still clutching my bent bars and my Norton followed suit in I'd guess about an 80' nose stand. Next the bike crashed back down and I followed landing back on the seat but arms a lot further forward than ever before. I'd broken both mirrors and the bars were toast but what helped me come around is when I saw the chain link fence. It had a perfect impression of a motorcycle front tire pushed 2' into it. It was one of the funniest things I ever saw. I managed to straighten the bars enough to get going again and ironicly no one else came early. My brother had boggled the message and they had wanted me at a different site! What I wouldn't give to have a photo of that chain link fence!

RennieK,
You had to go down this road didn't you? Literally
1 month before shipping out w/ the marine corp, I was driving my 1973 Bonneville in summer of 1985.
It would be one of my last rides as she was going on consignment at a local shop.
I would be gone four years and my dad didn't want it in the garage that long.
I was driving in Philadelphia( a big mistake on any given day) and I reached up to snap shut one snap on my
Bell full face helmet, the face shield kept blowing open around 40mph.
These old tour stars had 2 positions. Up or down no racheting mechanism back then.
Next thing I know I'm doing a 1 and a half turn spinout on the timing side of the bike down the road.
A huge rut came upon me as I had only 1 hand on the bars and slapped the bars to the right.
The bike followed.
As I slid to a rest in the same traffic lane I had a fairly close up view of a 1985 Toyota Corolla front bumper.
The car was blue, trauma has a way of allowing us to remember little details such as car color.
The young woman got out hysterical and said Oh MY God I almost ran you over!
I said yeah well you didn't so how about helpin me get this bike up.
She did assist me as best as she could and when she felt I was ok she went about her way.
On the side of the road I took inventory on the damages.
I bent the right side foot rest upwards so shiting became ackward.
I noticed as I took off again the front wheel was wobbling. It had a flat spot in the rim from
the rut in the road. It must have caught me just right cause down I went in a blink of an eye.
I got to a friends house and took an injury inventory.
My right hand pinky finger was ground down missing a 1/3 of the meat and small section of the outside nail.
Asphault ate right through my cycle gloves as my hand was trapped underneath the front brake lever during the entire slide.
I looked down and my entire right side of my blue jeans was gone from the back of my thigh right up to my arse
A bloody old ass was on display for all the world to see!! Funny thing the woman who helped me never mentioned it
Marshal

ReenieK,
PS the fence incident is a pisser
Marshal

MarshalNorton wrote: shiting became ackward.

I think it might have had the opposite effect!

This freudian slip has reminded me of a story...

In the spring of '74 I turned 16. My first Norton was still a couple of years in my future. At the time I had a '72 Suzuki 250 Enduro.
One summer evening I had been in the mountains for a swim in the river (Cascade Mountains on the North Fork of the Santiam River). The evening involved a double date, some skinny dipping and one dropped wallet. Mine, most likely while I was shucking my duds on the side of the river. I didn't notice at the time because I was sort of distracted, in the way 16-year olds can be when there are naked girls near by.
Well, that wallet had two weeks pay in it, so I decided to ride back up there early in the morning before the campers made an appearence at the river. So I was winding my way up the river on the Suzuki, getting into the corners. I came around a long right corner, setting up for the following left when suddenly the road was alive with heard of deer.
I missed two of them and was working on missing the third by rolling to the right when the deer became confused and spun on its hind legs to go back the way it had come. Unfortunately that was exactly my path, fortunately the deer was on its hind legs to leap and completely cleared my handle bars and hit me square in the chest. I went flat onto the road and started sliding face down with my bike still between my legs.
I used to ski a lot too, and just happened to have a down jacket I was really proud of. As I slid down the road, all I could see was goose down flying past my head. All I could think of is that I was ruining my good jacket!
When I finally came to a stop (I think I was in the next county by then), I untangled from my bike and started taking inventory. The bike seemed to be in pretty good shape, the blow of the deer was taken mostly by me and luckily the bike had been protected from the road by laying on me.
However, I was a different story. As it happens when I hit the deer, it lightened its load and emptied its bowels. I was standing on the side of the road covered helmet to foot with deer poop and goose down feathers! I'm not sure how long it took me to start laughing, but once I started it was hard to get stopped.

And yes I did find the wallet.

Russ

In my pre-British bike days I had a mid '70's CB750A (I'll wait while you finish laughing at me).

I was coming home one day and as I began to slow for a light I realized that I had a front-flat
(the bike started pitching around HARD when I let the CF go) but the light was only a couple
of hundred yards in front of me and there was a soft(ish) place to crash on the other side so
I was going for it, at the last minute a car pulled into the open lane blocking the light so I
clamped on the brakes and went down HARD! I hit the edge of the Curb with the middle of
my back and rolled into the grass. I was directly in front of my workplace and I had keys so
I called for a ride home and parked the bike out front. When Dad got me home (he was
THRILLED with me and my "Suicycles") he told me that I needed to shower so that he could
inspect the damage, as I removed my boot it was FULL of Blood! (I had Roadrash on my leg
pretty bad). Dad told me right then to NEVER call him about that "damn Murdercycle" again!

Unclviny

"Getting shot out of a Cannon will always be more exciting than being squeezed out of a tube,
that's why there's fast motorcyvcles, Bubba"
HST

Unclviny, guess we can now understand our parents point of view.

That's a great one Russ! And I loved the build up. You must have had to have another dip that morning but this time fully dressed!

Marshal the fence incident should have been a pisser but I went just before I left home. and did you even check your rear view mirror going home? The gal might have been tailing you!

Thanks for sharing these gems!

oops
Shifting became a problem.
The other part was only difficult when I sat on the seat w/ road rash
Thanks for proof reading for me. I guess people do really read this stuff
Deer poop is funny!!! Unless it's on me.
Funny posts
Marshal

Many years ago when I was young foolish and ignorant mechanically and the very proud owner of a Commando (only the young no longer applies) I was late for work, it was winter (In Scotland) I roared into the company car park, as was the done thing at the time most of my workmates were at the office window watching people come in late, unknown to me my front caliper was sticking and as I cranked it over into the car park entrance trying to look cool the wheel hit a frosty bit of tarmac and down I went much to the amusement of my workmates. My right knee was cut and leg had some gravel rash and my jeans were torn.
At lunchtime i checked the bike over and decided to take it for a blast round town to make sure it was Ok, as I passed the local park the road was backed up with traffic so I cranked over to the left down a cobbled street, of course the greasy cobbles, zero degree temperature and the sticking caliper conspired against me and down I went again this time though replicating the injuries on the left side. Not one car driver stopped to help and I had to shout at two guys who were painting the outside of a building to stop fecking staring and help me!
Needless to say it took a long time to live that day down, I did though learn how to strip lockheed calipers that weekend, all part of the Norton / Life experience!

Our egos sure get us into trouble at times. I remember one time it worked the opposite for me though.
I'd picked up a girl at a club (70's era) and she wanted to go to another club in the new trendy Gastown area of Vancouver so we piled on the Norton. The club was at the biggest intersection and the real heart of Gastown. When we approached the intersection I could see a long line up of people waiting to go in and they all seemed to be looking at the impressive Norton approaching. In spite of the fact this huge 5 way intersection was under construction and had a gravel surface with construction barricades all about, I still had it in me to make a grand entrance. As I flew up to the front of the club with Norton a snorton I realized I was going too fast to drive on the gravel surface really. As it turned out we hit a bump and with the gal on the back the rear tire bottomed out sufficiently to lock the back wheel long enough to stall the engine and we did a kind of power turn in a big arc spraying up a rooster tail of gravel as we slid sideways right up to the front of the club. I managed to keep the bike up with one foot dragging. The girl hopped off an ran into the club and I kept my composure as I slid the side stand down and followed her in. Everyone watching was astonished at my level of driving skills at it looked like a stunt driver scene in a hollywood movie. Little did they know what a fluke that was and how lucky we were.